Hello people,

I have recently created a'new' squeeze page to fit my adwords campaign. Can anyone please help me make it better?

This is my first right fold opt in squeeze page and need some help. http://www.nicholasfinnegan.com/home.html

Thank you so much,

Nick

Hey Nick,

This is a great start. You've got the major elements of any good squeeze page, and I dig the photo of you to build personal connection.

Here are several ways you could potentially build on what you've got....

* The course is free, so say that in the headline. That's noteworthy.

* Have 1 headline, not two. If you want to have 2 lines, consider making one a pre-header or a post-header, but logically flowing from one to the other and formatted much smaller in a non-red font.

* Ask yourself, "So what?" when reading your headline until the real benefits start to pop. What will "unleashing my confidence" do for me? Help me land that job in a tough economy. Help me win the girl of me dreams when 3 other guys are courting her already? Help me start training to run that marathon when it was nothing but a pipe dream before? All of the above??

* Ask yourself the "So what?" question for every one of your bullets too. None of them have the emotional punch required to make people jerk their mouse pointers over to the opt-in box NOW.

"Live A Life Of True Freedom and Power That Allows You To Come Out On Top In All Social Situations." Sounds like getting the girl to me--which you're perfectly justified in saying IF your target audience is men.

* Which begs the questions: How are you driving traffic to this page? Who is your target 'customer' here? (They're customers even though they're paying nothing.)

* Move your opt-in box above the fold. That means I should see it as soon as the page loads. You'll get far more opt-ins that way vs. having to scroll down to see it.

* Move your photo up above the fold too. You've got a very friendly face. You seem like a guy I'd love to sit and chat with after a stressful day. Seriously!

That's why you'd do even better to have a video of yourself talking up the benefits of your free course.

* Does the course really consist of 2 e-books + 2 audio programs? That's what is pictured in your graphics, which will set the expectations accordingly.

* The privacy promise in the opt-in box is too small to read (at least on my screen) with default settings. Use a sans-serif font like Verdana and maybe bump up the font size by 1 point.


That should be enough to get started. Does that help, Nick?