Hello, all! I introduced myself over in the newcomers thread. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to check out my web site landing page; it is my first attempt to write copy. I would appreciate any feedback - good or bad.

If I can help you in any way, please let me know. I look forward to learning with all of you.

Ideaworks Web Solutions

Thanks,

Rich

Rich,

The truth is your website lacks nearly every element of basic marketing 101.

Here's a few points to consider...

Your tagline: What is "your cloud of influence". Though taglines can be "cutesy", in your case it needs to be more precise as to what you accomplish in web solutions.

Your headline: It's missing. You have absolutely no compelling headline that makes me want to read further. By stating "Do you ever wonder...", it's a yes or no question. By answering "no", I (as a prospect) will click out of your site immediately. Make a statement I can go "whoa", rather than "no".

Your layout: Other than a clean looking banner (which by way makes no sense), your layout is terribly hard to follow. Your fonts do not compliment each other and the size variation is huge. Frankly, it's hard to read.

You have too many links which may be good for SEO, but at the expense of losing your prospect. Even though it's linked to your other pages, you've essentially broken the "flow" and lost the reader.

"Many websites leave me wondering." Ok, good for you... but what about ME. Remember it's not about you, rather it's about ME.

"How many customers can you afford to lose?" I'm more interested in getting more customers, not losing them. Appeal to my desire to make more money, not lose money I never made.

I think your business is website "something or other" AND you are going to help me improve my website (?). I shouldn't have to ask this question, but you haven't impressed me with your own site, let alone what I think you can do for mine. As a prospect, you haven't proven yourself as THE expert, or even if you know what you're doing.

Suggestion: Give me a one page splash page with a free e-book or down loadable report in exchange for a name and email address. Next step is a FREE website evaluation (or whatever you do) and have them fill out a more detailed form.

That's my 5-minutes. I hope this opens your eyes just a wee bit.