Hello everybody,

I want to seek some advice here about the effectiveness of the copy I currently use.

This copy will be used on a website, selling almost completely services.

I've been browsing the forum, and read a lot of very interesting posts. However, I've yet to find some examples that *I* can really learn from, unless i'm missing something? I'm no copywriter for sure, but I do want to learn as much as I'm able to.

Some copy below:

Computer repairs (Hyperlink to section on repair, I specifically want to improve my ctr)
Experience real computer service, real dedication and commitment to your problems. Skip the clueless managers, and rest assured knowing we're out to give you the value that others take away.

Computer upgrades & replacement parts (Hyperlink to section again)
Obtain upgrades & parts for laptop computers & desktop pcs. Replace your laptop screen,
keyboard, or other faulty parts. No matter your requirements, we have something for you. Kids want the latest computer game? Is your PC ready to retire? Sick of lagging computer performance? If this is you, do yourself a favour and get in contact today, you won't regret it!

And so on...

All advice welcomed. Please be as critical and honest as possible

Thanks,

Rich

Greetings Rich:

You copy looks like a mishmash of features, benefits, guarantees, etc. As a copywriter, i see these things, but an untrained eye will not. Therefore, i advise you to break out these elements so they stand out on their own for easy comprehension.

Use bullets for your benefits and features. And please avoid big words or superlatives, which can sound self-serving.

Also, use testimonials from clients if you have any.

One more thing. Don't expect people to click a hyperlink just because it's there. Ask yourself the question...why should they click the link? You have to state the reward people get from clicking.

On the web, you have to assume people are lazy and dumb. Therefore, make things ridiculously easy for folks.

Keep successful.

Gbenga.