Esteemed fellow entrepreneurs ...

I've just put up a copywriting website.

I need HELP.

Especially, with developing the business model.

For example, do you think the "name your best price" idea works in real life?
Does it lift up your heart or leave you dazed and confused?

Also, how do you get those nifty fill-in-the-blank online forms? I'd rather set up the
Contact Us page that way.

Do I make the process of ordering, paying, and receiving writing services clear? Is my
way of doing it easy, convenient, and reasonable?

If this were your website what would you do to improve it?

If you were a client what would make you feel that this is someone who could help you?

Any other ideas, suggestions, and sage words?

Here is the link (drum roll, please) http://writing-services.theempoweredsoul.com/index.html

Cheers,

Sal

P.S. Kudos and encouragement will not be held against you.

P.P.S. All ideas will be carefully considered, and the brilliant ones will be acted on immediately.

helloo Sal! There were several things I liked about your website. The picture at the top is attractive. I really liked the majority of your bio, it sounded very professional.

Let's start with the bio page. I really like how the text is centered on this page. I would like to see that on the home page as well (there's too much white space on your home page. It distracted me from your actual text.) The next to last paragraph bothered me with the many repetitions of "your". As a client, I think I would have liked to see links to samples of your works rather than being told to google your name.

On the home page, again, the white space on the right makes me feel off balanced, which makes it hard to concentrate on what you've written. This is might be a matter of personal preference, but I think your site would feel more fleshed out if you broke up the home page a bit. Have a summary of what you offer and how it would benefit the client, then have separate links to how much it costs and how the process works. Links to samples of your work and testimonials on the main page would also make your site more professional.

I thought the contact page was fine. I don't know anything about how to get those fill in boxes, though I agree they would be nice.

As far as the business model goes, I thought that was fine. I think you really explained that well, so there shouldn't be any questions from the client about how the process goes.

I hope these suggestions are helpful and that your website is successful!

Ah, you're really good at this stuff!

I implemented all your suggestions -- and my pages look WAAAAY better.

If I missed something, or you spotted something else, please let me know.

Cheers,

Sal

Hey there,

Thank you for taking the time to look over my website and offer some constructive
comments.

I've implemented all your suggestions ... since they all made perfect sense ... and
to tell you the truth, I wouldn't have even thought of those things myself.

Today, I decided to launch it by announcing it to my list of 5,000 subscribers.

Here is the letter ...

(subject line:) A Writer is Born!

Not really, but I liked the excitement of that
title.

Here's what the hullabaloo is ALL about today...

date

Hi firstname,

Since day after day I ramble about how healing your
subconscious mind will release its magic to liberate
your world -- you probably think that my first love is
psychology.

...After all, I've had too many personal miracles occur
from unearthing my sorrows and transforming them into
moments of emancipation to doubt the magic of the
subconscious mind -- and this idea has long since
passed from the realm of belief into the kingdom of
knowing.

Actually, however, writing has always been my first
love.

I fell in love with the written word at the age of 17,
when I wrote my first maudlin poetry about unrequited
High School love. (Her name was Irene -- a girl with a
bewitching smile and liquid black eyes, whose German
father and Arabian mother ha d bequeathed her with an
exquisite tan and exotic features.)

There's something about converting repressed emotion
into words that's ecstatic; words transform the
ordinary into the extraordinary because while mimicking
life they make the lived experience more acute --
the way a mountain climber at a peak feels more alive
looking down at the plains through the lace of clouds
than he did when he was on the plains themselves.

While in my peregrination through life, I've worn the
perspective of a journalist, a computer geek, and a
psychologist, penetrating them all has been my inner
artistic child who considers himself a writer.

While I've been helping people over the years with
their writing -- from assisting a Holocaust victim to
write her first novel to whipping up some direct mail
pieces--I've only done it in an accidental way -- but last
week, after pondering my prime credo "do what
you love" I decided to create a business out of it.
So far, I've helped a few clients with SEO-focused
articles for their niche and sales letters for their
products -- and it's been marvelous fun seeing their
web businesses begin to sink roots.

So -- if you need writing services, from writing for
your online or offline business to coaching your first
short story or novel -- give me a holler.

I've slapped on my qualifications and the details of my
new business here:

http://writing-services.theempoweredsoul.com/

To your SUCCESS,

P.S. After you scan the website, drop me a line, and we
can decide on how to launch your dream through the
inspiration of written words. I'm fairly open to both
content and pricing -- so don't let that hold you back.
However, do hurry because this letter will be going
out to thousands and I'll only be able to take on a few
clients.

--------------------------------------------------------------

... So, what do you think? Again, I'm looking for a feel
on how to connect with people via email. I know that
sometimes I come across as academic, and I
lack that earthy gusto that appeals to people, but after
five degrees its hard to remember how to simplify and
slip into a natural vernacular -- so apart from that short-
coming -- do you want to hire this guy to write for you
based on the letter and based on his website?

... By the way, should I link my blog here up to my website,
Copywriting Journal? You see ... the blog is just ad hoc writing
I do to stay in the flow of inspiration ... and I don't know
whether it would add value to helping someone decide to hire
me for writing.

Cheers,

Sal

Hi Sal... I'll be looking over all the pages, but for now, I wanted to say
that the front page looks good. The thing that jumps out at me on that
page is your copyright notice. If you started in 2004, you'll want to at
least at least add a dash and 2007. Yes, I know that we have copyright
protection as soon as we write something, but I often look at copyright
notices on websites to see if the content *is* current. I also like adding
"All rights reserved" to all my notices.

I'll be back after I see the other pages.

Okay, I'm back. I like your writing process page. It's no-nonsense and it
doesn't leave room for people to whine about your terms not being clear
because they're very clear.

In the last paragraph, I think I'd change the term "good" copy to "successful"
copy. Maybe it's just me, but "good" wasn't strong enough for my taste.

The pricing page... well, while it seems like a really great test, I think
I'd be kind of nervous. Like if I'd normally charge $500 for something
and I'm offered $400, would I take it and hope someone ELSE will offer
$600 to make up for it?

No, that's not saying I wouldn't do it, it's very intriguing. I'll be
interested to find out how many offers are higher than you may have
charged. Remember that some people have *no* idea what a good
copywriter costs, though, so may back away rather than make an
embarrassing offer? Would it benefit you to (just thinking aloud here)
list a low-ball offer to at least help guide the folks who haven't a clue
what your work is worth?

Contact page looks good.

About Us page... I'm curious about why you've capitalized "Copywriting"...
I'm sure there's a reason for that, but I don't know what it is at this point,
so I thought I'd mention it.

Okay, that's it... looks fabulous. *DO* remember to fix your copyright
notice, though... seriously, if I'd hit your page and see the 2004, I'd
assume you're no longer in business if you didn't update the notice for
three years and I wouldn't take the time to send an email to find out...
so that one's vital.

Good luck!

Thanks for the feedback. I was not able to change the copywrite notice because
that was when I got the domain--however, I've got a javascript date script with todays
date to tell the reader the website is current as they scan the home page.

Also, I was not able to change 'good' to 'successful'--as that was the word choice of the customer
and I don't want to tamper with the testimonial.

Thanks for catching the typo on about us page. I've corrected it to show a small c.

As for the pricing model, I'm thinking of just making a list of prices. The test did not prove
successful, with most people choosing to underpay. I'll be changing that page soon once I start
a marketing plan to get traffic to that page. Most people who want copywriting services don't have a clue where to start negotiating so the idea did not work at all.

I'm also planning on putting up some samples of "before" and "after" copy--and I've contacted
a few clients offering them a huge discount if they let me showcase their website copy.

I appreciate your encouragement on this project.

Cheers,

Sal

Of course you can't change a testimonial word... I must have had my editor hat on a bit too tightly and didn't realize it was a testimonial. Sorry to hear that the pricing thing didn't work out too well.

I just looked at your website again Sal, and it looks great! You've made a lot of excellent changes, and I especially love the testimonials at the bottom of the home page. I hope that you get a lot of new business!

Well, it looks good because I followed your suggestions. One of them was particularly useful, where you suggested I break my long sales page into a series of sub-sections. It not only gave my website a fuller look but it also made things much clearer for the visitor.

The testimonials really helped boost business, and I'm keen to collect more. Since some of my most recent writings have been repeat business, this aspect of the website has still to evolve.

Hi Sal and All.

I would like to interject a few more suggestions to the copy on your home page,
if I may. I would not presume to change your thoughts or words produced, and
only make these offerings as suggestions. The home page is all I had time to
look at tonight. Get ready. Are you ready? OK...

Remove the words "me, my and I" from all the copy. In most cases it sounds
arrogant and self-centered. After making that observation, I won't leave you out
in the cold. These are ONLY suggestions and probably not the best but what I
came up with off the top of my head. You must use your own words to make
the copy more to your own liking.

01.)
where you have:
My writing can help you bring out all the benefits...
try something like this:
Great copywriting can bring out all the benefits...

02.)
where you have:
Using my experience as both a former journalist...
possibly this:
Having experience as both a former...

03.)
where you have:
I can either fine-tune your existing...
maybe this:
it is possible to fine-tune your...

04.)
where you have:
My copy will bring out all the benefits...
Something to this effect:
Professional copywriting will bring out all the benefits...

05.)
Where it says this:
I can help you with any other aspect of...
Something like this could work:
you may need help in other aspects of your marketing funnel.

06.)
where this is:
I can help you spruce up your e-book copy,
possibly more effective could be:
you may need to spruce up your e-book copy,

07.)
where this sentence appears:
In three ideas, I can sum up everything I've learned about the writing process:
try an approach like this:
These three ideas sum up the writing process:

08.)
with this sentence:
from my testimonials, I do the best I can, not the least,
try another approach:
from the testimonials, you receive the best, not the least,

09.)
at the end you have:
I take your trust in me to deliver value to your business seriously because I
genuinely care about the success of my clients.
rearrange a bit:
Delivering value is serious business, your success is our success.
or some other form:
Being serious about delivering value, you are assured of success.

~~~~~~

Be sure to make a statement at the end and not a plea. Always tell them you are
the BEST and you will bring them success or you will surpass their goals or...
I am sure you get the idea. Everything must be a plus-plus, win-win unless you
are using story telling to write your copy. Then it is OK to use I, me and my.

Just a few more points, your home page title should have your keywords or key
phrases in it. Right now it says "about us.” If you are selling your copywriting skills,
the word "copywriting" should be mentioned in the page title and your copy in every
few lines or paragraphs. I also did not see a company name. If you have one uh,
make sure you mention it.

I'm sorry, I hope I am helping here and my comments do not sound too abrupt.
There is more but it is late and I need to get to bed as 6:00 am comes early here
(as it does everywhere). Please take my comments as they are given, in a spirit
of helping you with your endeavor.

You do not need to take what I suggest "to the bank" as each of us has our own
style of approaching a project. It is always easy to see where someone else's
copy could be improved but sometimes impossible to see flaws in our own writing.
I do the very same thing. I have a devil of a time writing for myself, about me
or about my businesses. I do great with clients but that "me" hump usually looks
like a mountain I cannot scale or traverse .

More tomorrow. Blessings.

Verb

Good Morning Sal and All.

Q - "For example, do you think the "name your best price" idea works in real life?
Does it lift up your heart or leave you dazed and confused?"

A - No, this never works. People will "cheap it up" whenever they can keep money
in their own pockets. You will lose out using that strategy. Sorry.

Q - "Also, how do you get those nifty fill-in-the-blank online forms? I'd rather set up the
Contact Us page that way."

A - Find the form code here: http://www.w3c.org

Q - "Do I make the process of ordering, paying, and receiving writing services clear? Is my
way of doing it easy, convenient, and reasonable?"

A - I did not get beyond the home page yet.

Q - "If this were your website what would you do to improve it?"

A - Why the sub-domain?
Upon looking at the code, nothing is filled in - it is a template and somewhere you should
be able to change all that to what you need. It is certainly not impossible to optimize
but that does make it much, much harder. The pros and cons on sub domains are
simple - if you are intending to optimize, don't use them. Special attention needs to be
paid to each and every item for SEO and with a templated sub-domain that is not always
possible. If you don't care about SEO, or don't want to hire an expert to work some magic,
you should get your own url (domain name) and be sure your main subject keyword
is in that url. Search until you find one that fits into the realm of your business.

Upon checking - I see you own "the empowered soul" so that explains the sub-domain.
But for copywriting? I would still get a unique url.

All that said, if you are depending on email campaigns and linking strategies to drive traffic
to the site and not on solid seo procedures, keep the sub-domain. lol.

That's all I have, so far. Back to work.

Just my humble comments and OH-pinions.

Blessings.

Verb

Thanks! I'm going to be moving the website over to a full writing service website, and I'll put your suggestions to good use.

Sal

Hiya Sal and All.

You have probably worked on the webpages until you are blue in the face.
I know that feeling. We have all been there, done that. At least a lot of
us have. There is that rush, urgency and above all, wanting and needing
to present our very best to the public.

It can become a long and arduous task. Maintenance come into play once
you are up and running and the google bot has gobbled up your pages,
indexed them and placed them somewhere in with 100,000 or a million other
web sites. At this point you find out exactly how much more work you have to
do, and sometimes it is extensive.

DO NOT get discouraged. It will all come around in time. Keep us posted.
I am sure there are others here with better advice than I can give, but at
least I am willing, when I have the time.

BLessings.

Verb

Thanks Verb. I'm planning on a complete overhaul. I'll let you know when it's done.

helloo Sal

Nice site. I checked all the links. I take it you own the domain theempoweredsoul? If not, you might consider having a unique domain for a serious business. What CMS are you using? If it's a free sitebuilder from your host, you might have limited options for that online form you want. Drupal has one of the best online form system around.

As soon as I load the website. Initial thoughts are that it's cold and unfriendly. Take my copywriting website. As soon as you load it up you get the immediate sense that it's warm and caring. We're not a heartless organisation that simply wants your money and forgets about you. That's not the position we take up and our website mirrors that image.

Thus, your website gives out all the wrong vibes. The top image is exceedingly formal and unwelcoming. As I scroll down I can see it's a trying to sell me something and not really care much for how it turns out. That, for me, is the wrong way to go about business because people end up resenting you. With business you've got to give it your all. You may get some people purchasing your writing services for a short-period, but as soon as they find a website that offers them more, they'll be off. So I would say from that, your business will be a short-lived venture because that's how it portrays itself.

As I Newbie I speak only as a writer - not an experienced copywriter - and one thing snagged my attention (interrupted the flow). perhaps purely as a writer, so perhaps it doesn't matter: it's the use of 'trained' twice, almost next to each other - Sal, why not, 'professionally trained copywriter, a graduate of ...'?
Good luck with it - Peter.

I wanted to chime in here and may a small observation. When a consumer opens your page, they are not seeing much. All of the great information is below the front page as it loads. All I saw was the graphic art. Internet consumers want to see something, capture them from the first look!

Also mention to not let the low price fool you. mention that you love what you do. Also talk about how these days most dont get what they pay for. Say with you , they will get more than what they pay for.